


I'd lie

by ylc



Series: Taylor Swift's song inspired AUs [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 07:00:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3347855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ylc/pseuds/ylc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is in love with his best friend, Dean Winchester. He'll never admit it, though.</p>
<p>Based on Taylor Swift's song by the same title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd lie

**Author's Note:**

> A new addition to the “Taylor Swift’s songs inspired collection”. I intended it to be something short and fluffy for Valentine’s Day, but as usual this ran away from me. Not sure why that keeps happening with this one-shots.  
> Anyway, enjoy!

It’s not often that Castiel rides shotgun. Usually that ‘honor’ belongs to Sam, but since tonight they’re going to a party and Sam is way too young to be going with them, he’s sitting on the passenger’s seat.

Dean is humming whatever song is currently playing. Cas doesn’t really share his best friend’s musical tastes, but he does enjoy the way Dean’s eyes light up whenever one of his favorite songs is playing. He’s really not looking forward to going to the party, but Dean had been adamant on him attending. He’s not sure why; it’s not like Dean will pay him much attention once they arrive. His friend will probably end up hooking up with some girl and Cas will have to call Gabe and beg for a ride back home.

Tonight, after the party is over, someone else will be riding shotgun.

Castiel tries not to feel to put out by that. He has always known that developing a crush on his friend was a VERY BAD IDEA. He hates being a walking cliché, but it couldn’t be helped. Dean is just too wonderful: he’s funny, nice, caring, and handsome. He’s perfect in every way.

Castiel tries to convince himself that being friends is enough. And in some ways, it is. He gets to see sides of Dean that no one else sees: he knows the sweet boy underneath the façade of the troublemaker. Dean has constructed a reputation of a bad boy, but Castiel knows the real him.

Maybe that’s why he’s so much in love with him.

They don’t talk much, but their silences are never uncomfortable. Castiel enjoys sitting next to his friend and just enjoy the quiet. He offers whatever little comfort he can whenever Dean is having a bad day: never judging, never offering advice or his opinion if he’s not directly asked. He knows Dean appreciates that.

In return, Dean is always there for him whenever he needs him; either because he’s being bullied or because things at home once again went awry between his brothers and his father, Dean is a constant, steady, relievable presence in his life.

It’s not what he would prefer, but it’s enough.

 

* * *

 

As predicted, once they arrive at the party, Dean disappears in the crowd. Castiel doesn’t begrudge him this; he knows Dean likes to socialize. He spots Balthazar (or rather, Balthazar spots him) and soon enough he finds himself surrounded by the other’s teenager friends. He smiles and chats amicably with them, his eyes scanning the room every now and then, searching for Dean with no success.

Close to midnight he sends Gabe a text asking for a ride. Balthazar has already offered and he declined politely; he has seen the way the other boy looks at him and he doesn’t want to give him false hope: regardless of Dean’s lack of interest in him, Castiel is way too emotionally involved to have a relationship.

“Hey Cas, ready to go?” Dean appears out of nowhere, throwing an arm around his shoulders and surprising him. Castiel frowns lightly, feeling confused by his friend sudden reappearance, but glad he’s here: Gabe’s not answering his phone. Balthazar says goodbye to him, all the while glaring at Dean (both boys don’t really get along) and before he knows what’s happening, he’s leaving the party with Dean.

“Is everything okay?” he asks worriedly while they walk towards the car.

“Yes, sure” Dean answers with a shrug, “why do you ask?”

Castiel frowns, “did you get into a fight with someone?”

“What? No, of course not. Why-?”

“You don’t usually leave these parties with me” Castiel answers, not looking at him in the eye. His heart clenches at the thought of Dean with someone else, but he pushes the hurt away. He’s been doing it for years now.

 “Ah… well, I wasn’t really in the mood. After Lisa…”

Right. Lisa Braeden. Cas must admit he was kind of glad when they broke up, even if it was quite selfish. Lisa was perfect for Dean and he knows his friend really liked her. They could have had that apple life Dean has always wanted. “You know, I never understood why you two broke up.” He says, eying his friend curiously, “I thought you loved her.”

Dean flinches. He stares at nothing for a few seconds and Castiel is beginning to worry he said something he shouldn’t when Dean shrugs and says, “nah. I liked her a lot but I… I don’t think I’ll ever love someone.”

“Oh” is all Castiel can say, his heart constricting painfully once more. He knows his love is hopeless, but hearing Dean say that… “Why?”

Dean just shrugs and gets into the car. “What about you?” Dean asks, starting the engine.

“What about me?”

Dean rolls his eyes good-naturedly, “do you think you’ll ever fall in love?”

“Ah” he blushes and looks out the window, “no. No, I don’t think so.”

He doesn’t see Dean frowning.

 

* * *

 

The next day Castiel is helping Sam with his Trigonometry homework when the yelling starts. After being Dean’s friend for over 8 years, he’s used to it. So is Sam, but it doesn’t make it any less scary for the younger boy.

Cas sighs and picks up Sam’s books before heading with him outside, knowing Dean would prefer his little brother not seeing their father drunk, even if there’s nothing he can do to prevent Sam from hearing him. They sit in the garden and Sam curls next to him, his homework forgotten, while Castiel rubs calming circles on his back.

The yelling is followed by the sound of things being thrown and breaking and Castiel silently prays for Dean to be okay: so far John has never hit his sons, but there’s really no guarantee that it’ll never happen. Cas would much prefer if neither Dean nor Sam had to endure their father’s bad moods, but he also knows Dean doesn’t react well to any suggestion rewarding his father, so he keeps quiet.

Finally the yelling stops and Cas leaves Sam for a little while, going inside the house to make sure everything is okay. John is asleep on the couch, holding a bottle of whisky close to his chest and Dean is busy picking up shreds of what Cas supposes used to be their dinnerware. Dean’s shoulders are shaking and so Castiel approaches him carefully. His best friend looks at him and when Castiel offers a tentative hug, Dean holds him close. For a few minutes, there’s no other sound than their breathing and John’s heavy snores.

“I’ll get Sam inside now, okay? I’ll send him to finish his homework and then I’ll help you with dinner.” Dean nods, still clinging to him and Castiel feels guilty for the fluttering feeling inside him for being held so close.

“Okay. Okay.” Dean whispers, letting go and although Castiel only wants to pull him back into a hug, he does as he promised.

Dean needs him and he won’t indulge in his own little fantasies when his friend is hurting.

 

* * *

Sam curls in bed and promises he’ll finish his homework after dinner. Castiel nods and lets the younger boy be; he knows how distressing it can be, listening to your drunk father yelling. That’s why he spends as little time as possible in his own home, after all.

He and Dean cook dinner in companionable silence. He knows Dean is feeling overwhelmed and he also knows he’ll talk to him when he’s ready. When dinner is almost ready, Dean finally speaks, “remember what I told you last night? About never falling in love?” Castiel nods and Dean sighs, running his fingers through his hair, “it’s because of that.” He gestures vaguely in the living room’s direction, where John is still sleeping. “I don’t… I don’t want to become that. I’m too much of a fuck-up and-“

Castiel interrupts him before he can start his self-depreciating speech. That’s the only thing Castiel won’t stand for; Dean talking down about himself. “That’s not true Dean. You’re not like your father.”

“Really?” Dean asks, “you think he was always like this? When mom was alive-“

“Dean, I don’t know how your father was before your mother’s death, but I know that regardless of the pain he felt at losing her, it doesn’t justify the way he behaves towards you. And I also know you would never, ever, treat someone like he treats you. No matter how much you were hurting, you’re too good and caring…”

He wonders if he has said too much. Dean is looking at him curiously, like he was a puzzle that he was trying to decipher. “You really believe that, don’t you?” he asks, his tone wondrous, like he can’t understand why would Castiel think that.

“Of course I do” Castiel answers, holding his head high, “you’re the best man I know.”

Dean comes to stand in front of him, gazing into his eyes, no doubt searching for a lie. When he doesn’t find it, a small smile appears on his face, “what would I do without you Cas?” he whispers, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing affectionately. “Never change”

Castiel can only smile back.

 

* * *

 

“You’re in love with my brother” Sam accuses one day. Dean is buying them some snacks before they head back to their home to watch some movies.

“Your brother and I share a profound bond” Castiel replies evenly. Not exactly a lie, but certainly not an answer to Sam’s accusation.

Sam frowns. “So you’re in love with him.”

Castiel doesn’t answer. They wait in silence for Dean to be back.

 

* * *

 

Sam falls asleep at some point during their movie marathon and Dean carries him towards his bedroom. Castiel watches them in silence, his heart aching for them both. Is not like the situation in his own home is much better, but for some reason, seeing Dean hurting is a hundred times worse than being in pain himself.

He looks around Dean’s room, trying to distract himself from his sad thoughts. He smiles at the picture of them that Dean has on the nightstand and stares wistfully at the family picture next to it. John does look happier and Mary looks radiant, holding baby Sammy, her other arm wrapped around Dean. The picture just makes him feel worse.

“Cas?”

He hadn’t noticed Dean had come back. He turns around and finds himself standing way too close to his best friend. They’re constantly in each other’s personal space, but this somehow feels different. The air is charged between them and Castiel gulps, feeling nervous.

“Dean” he says, but he doesn’t add anything more. He’s not sure if he should say something so he lets the silence hang between them. Dean steps even closer, their noses now almost touching and Castiel holds his breath.

“I wanted to thank you” Dean whispers, sending shivers down his spine, “you’ve been the best friend I could ever ask for.”

“You don’t need to…”

“Really Cas, I don’t know what I’d do without you” Dean is still standing to close; he can feel his lips ghosting over his, but he’s not sure how to proceed. He’s telling him how much of a good friend he’s been, surely he doesn’t intend for them to kiss after such declarations, does he? Cas is confused, his head is spinning and his chest hurts. After what feels like a life time, Dean finally steps back.

“I’ll drive you home” Dean offers, quickly heading towards the door like nothing has happened. Castiel stands there, stunned, trying to catch his breath, “Cas? You’re coming?” Dean calls, apparently having already left the room and heading downstairs.

“Yes, yes, coming!” Castiel calls back.

Just what the hell has just happened?

 

* * *

 

“You’re sure you don’t want to grab something to eat before I drop you at your house?” Dean asks once again and Castiel shakes his head. Normally, he’d love to spend more time with Dean, no matter what their doing, but after what just happened at the other boy’s room (whatever that was), Cas is feeling confused. He needs some time to process his feelings and he’ll rather be alone while he does that.

“I’m sure, Dean.” He responds, looking out the window, afraid of facing his friend. Whatever their little moment was, he has the feeling it has changed things between them forever. He’s not certain what does that exactly means, though. Dean is his friend and he doesn’t want to lose him, but…

“Listen Cas, about-” Dean interrupts himself, chewing his lip, his eyes fixed on the road. Castiel side-glances at him and waits. When Dean is ready, he’ll voice whatever is troubling him, “I’m sorry” he finally says, “I- I don’t know what come over me”

Castiel nods. “Don’t worry about it.”

Dean stops the car just outside Castiel’s house; however, he doesn’t exit the car. They sit there in tense silence, none sure of what they want to say or how to say it. “I- I’ll see you tomorrow” Castiel says finally, opening the door.

“Cas, wait” Dean calls and Castiel freezes in the spot. He turns to face his friend slowly, nervous about the whole ordeal, “tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.”

Oh. Right, he had forgotten about that. Dean probably has a date “The day after tomorrow, then.”

“No. I meant- I- Will you go out with me?”

Castiel’s breath catches in his throat. His heart is beating furiously and he blushes; surely Dean doesn’t mean it like that. “As friends?” he asks, his voice barely audible, his throat too dry. His best friend frowns lightly, now staring intently into his eyes.

“No.” Is all Dean says, but Castiel’s heart burst with joy.

“Oh” he replies, still too dumbfounded and Dean frowns deepens.

“Never mind, I shouldn’t…” the green-eyed teen begins and Castiel knows he has to say something before he loses his chance, but he’s too surprised to form coherent sentences.

“Yes, yes, of course!” he exclaims urgently, grabbing Dean by the shoulders with a little too much strength “yes, I’ll go out with you.”

Dean smiles tentatively. Castiel returns the smile, his eyes now fixed on Dean’s lips. The other teen notices and starts grinning.

No use for any more denial, now.

Isn’t that just great?

**Author's Note:**

> So… thoughts anyone? I enjoyed writing this, even if it went in a whole different direction that I intended. I’m gonna stop trying to plan this one-shots because they never end the way I wanted them to.  
> Anyway, I just realized that my collection of Taylor Swift’s songs contains mostly heartbreaking ones. Not that unusual, since that’s the kind of songs I like to listen to, but it complicates things for this series, because I refuse to write yet another heartbreaking Destiel fic…  
> So, suggestions? So far I intend to write “Mine”, “Stay, stay, stay” and “the lucky one” (that’ll be mainly Sabriel, though)  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
